Yo man. I was walkin down the street when this kid ran in front of me to stop me yeah! As he went into ze bozzer I realised he was my friend yeah! I went in and started to chill out with my bros. As I left I got caught and this window broke and I fell into this Lambo. The guys who attacked me stuffed my pockets with lots of dosh from the local money store. They then rushed away in the Lambo. I felt cream crackered and these guys made it look like I was drunk by killing the motor in front on the tarmac yeah! Ye guys stuffed me in the driver’s seat and spilled the dosh on the road. There was so much you could swim in it. Cos of this the rozzers arrived and stuffed me in the back of their meat van.
Your Honour, my client informs me that he was walking down the street. He walked by the local hostelry. Then my client realised one of his friends that he was meeting was there so he went in and bought some squash. As he left he was kidnapped and stuffed through a window of a stolen Lamborghini. The Lamborghini was stolen by the kidnappers. They had stolen some cash from the Santander and stuffed it in his pockets. Then they started to speed off. They then framed him by crashing into the car in front. Next they stuffed him into the driver’s seat and through the cash all over the road. Before he knew it he was being driven off to the police station in the back of a police van with an escort.