Oliver B’s playscript

Scene 3- The defence

Characters- Humpty Dumpty, Mr A Dumbledore, The frying pan, Mr Stanley ( defence counsel), Yoda, Wallace, Jack

The courtroom is so quiet you could here a pin fall into a ball of cotton wool. The judge (Mr A Dumbledore) peers over his half moon spectacles
Mr Stanley I shall now call Mr F Pan.
The frying pan walks in, his head bowed, bits of fried egg on him.
Wallace You can see he’s guilty, can’t you Yoda.
Yoda True, this is. A feisty one, The frying pan is.
Jack (Playing with his toy ogre )What?
Mr Stanley Where were you yesterday afternoon?
Frying pan ( In a posh manner)I was walking down the street to get a bag of fish and chips when I bumped into this strange young egg fellow. I went to apologise to him but he was on the floor, so I asked if he was alright and, well, he was unconscious. I called the hospital to tell them, but they sent horses and soldiers! I mean, really, not a nurse or doctor but they sent horses and soldiers! It was one of the horses themselves that actually broke his thin layer of shell and made all of his or… or… organs come out.
Wallace ( Furiously)  Lock him up!
Yoda Sense truth in his voice, I can, although believe him, I do not.
Jack Were the fish and chips nice?
Dumbledore Let the, um, pan finish his speech.
Frying pan Actually, I have finished.
Mr Stanley (Looking smug)  You may exit now Mr Pan. Call the 2nd witness, Humpy Dumpty himself!
Humpty waddles into view, looking scared and worried.
Dumbledore So, what happened in your opinion?
Humpty ( Stuttering and twitching )) I w… w… was sitting on the wall enjoying a bag of chips w…w…when I felt a knock and fell onto the floor. I heard a voice asking if I was alright and then I guess I was knocked ou… ou… out. After a while, I came too with a soldier’s hand on my forehead. Then, a rusty m… m… metal foot stamped on my stomach and I smashed.
Dumbledore Then may I ask how you are still here in one piece.
Humpty According to mother, I was fixed by an oddjob man for free.
Dumbledore Very well. (Shouting) Mr Pan. You may re-enter
 Mr Pan enters, head still bowed
Mr Stanley You, Mr Pan, are guilty.
Dumbledore Is he?
Mr Stanley ( Irritated) With all due respect my lord, all the evidence points at Pan. The rusty foot, for example, is obvious. I mean, look at his feet.  ( Looking at Pan) No offence.

( Pan glowers at Mr Stanley)

Dumbledore Yes, but there is one piece of evidence we haven’t studied. Mr Pan, am I right in confirming that there were soldiers and horses at the scene ?
Pan You are.
Dumbledore (Smiling) and am I also correct to say that you believe a horse crushed the shell of this poor egg?
Pan You are.
Mr Stanley ( annoyed)You are joking! This’ll take days to investigate!
Dumbledore True, it could. Or it could take about 5 minutes. Accio! ( Mr Stanley looks confused) The summoning charm, Adam.
Mr Stanley Even so, it could summon any old horseshoe
Dumbledore I can assure you it will find the right one. ( After about 5 secs, an egg- covered horseshoe fly’s through the window, hitting Mr Stanley on the head and landing in Dumbledore’s lap. Mr Stanley glares at Dumbledore )
Dumbledore I rest my case!
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