In the court
Hey dude. I was hangin out with some birds at the boozer. After 2 pints I started to feel a bit Tom and Dick. The birds started yapping about me going to the docs because I was absolutely fried. I got to the docs and opened up the gate and stepped. Then a noise started yapping and the next thing I knew the fuzz putting my hands on my back.
Your honour, my client is trying to inform you that he was having a few beers down at the hostelry with some ladies when he started to feel unwell. Furthermore, my client had only two glasses of when he started to feel tired so the ladies told him to go to the doctors. When he finally got there he opened up a gate and next thing he knew it, a siren started going off and the police were cuffing him, hands tied behind his back.